More heartache

Early November 2007 we had our 1st ultrasound scheduled.  It was a Friday afternoon, and Dan and Nikki were with me.  We have been doing progesterone shots each day - which continues through the end of the 1st trimester.  At that point we would transfer back to my regular OB/GYN doctor and stop the shots.

We told Nikki what she would see on the screen - I am on pins and needles.  We head into the exam room and get ready - the ultrasound begins - I am glued to the screen.  I dont' see much at first - then I hear Dr Strawn say something about twins - huh??  Then I see the bubble - another empty sack  - tears are streaming.  Turns out there are 2 empty sacs - I am sobbing at this point of course.  I know Dr. Strawn cannot tell me one way or another without more bloodwork to measure the PG hormone levels.  He tells me that we should expect to see a heartbeat.

I dont know how Dan keeps it together - maybe for Nikki - I cry all the time now.  We walk out to the parking lot.

To make things worse - our plan was to go from our ultrasound to the Froedtert MATERNITY WARD - where Dans' sister had just given birth to her 3rd daughter.  I did not want to go at first - but somehow made it through the visit - where we had to share our bad news.  Holding someone elses newborn - even my neice - did not help the pain.